Why Hate Katamari?
by Sabbage
Summary: Everyone loves the crazy game of Katamari Damcy...right? Well one mean critic whose hatred for the game is so strong its causing the world to go into a depressing state. The Prince must show the brilliance of Katamari to this mad critic! Please R&R new ch
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Review

Once upon a time when the pandas danced with men and the flowers sang Beatles covers a prince, a king a King of The Cosmos that is, and a queen resided in a beautiful planet. Life was brilliant everyone was Katamari everyone having a Katamari good time.

Adventure started one day; in a small metropolitan apartment home of Swash a game critic for the Pixel Time. He had now finished his review and he pushed the big SUBMIT button on his computer. What was this review and why is it cramping up are good Katamari good time? Well this review was on Katamari Damcy in fact but a terrible thing happened when it reached the Internet waves.

Birds were dyeing trees were crying the skies turned gray and women beat their kids (Honestly we hope not). King Cosmos and his shrimpy son Prince were bewildered at this sight. The King was exceptionally mad. "Why does my beautiful land look, look, look, look, look, arrgh what's the word? Oh that's right t-tainted my kingdom is tainted what be the reason of this. We go ask the smartest person I know. Come Prince" Prince jumped in his giant hand and he shouted" Royal Rainbow!" a Technicolor beautiful rainbow shot us to the estate of the King and company.

"Honey were home, did you see the outside?" King asked.

"Yes, yes, I did isn't it awful," she said in her normal homely voice.

"Well me and Prince decided to ask the smarted person we know"

"Aw sweetie that's so well sweet" her face turned pink and she made an embarrass laugh.

"So I decided to ask Mr. Computer" as the King said this Queen's happy face dropped to a horrible angry face, but sadly King was to busy getting on the computer. The Prince just stood there in the kitchen bewildered.

"Good thing the computer works or I would have to ask you for something" He laughed and he started clicking away, "Hey look it's a Katamari Damcy review well we all know its probably more praise," He made a cocky face at me and clicked on it and screamed.

"Whaaaaaaat a…a…a…a negative eight out of one hundred. We made a game called We Love Katamari everyone was supposed to love it," He started thinking and swung the computer at the wall and ran to his room and started sobbing.

"Honey you have to respect opinion, the Queen will make it all better," she scurried off to the master bedroom and shut the door. Prince shrugged luckily the computer still had a small glow even though it was in thousands of pieces. The Prince clicked print and waited patiently and when it popped out this is what it said:

_I have played a lot of games in my time but not one like this, what am I talking about well Katamari Damcy. It's not like any other because it's the worst thing I have ever played, EVER. The controls are so complicated, the soundtrack makes me hit my ears until the blood clouds my hearing. So basically this game you roll up crap in a ball, no guns, no strippers _(Prince of course didn't have any idea what they were), and_ horrible vomit graphics. I mean come on and people call this game cute and quirky I call it a walking disaster. So if you have any common sense AT ALL. You will roll this crap up and chuck it into a giant pit in hell. _

_-8/100_

Prince sat on the floor rereading the article over and over again he would wait for his parents and settle this once and for all!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Mr. Kakan we love you!

The door opened and father came out with a big grin. "We think you should respect are mother she made us feel great pleasure-," the Queen elbowed him in the stomach not to fry the poor Prince's clean little mind.

"King don't you think you should take the prince to find that horrible critic,"

"Why we think that would be splendid all we have to do is call in the," he paused, "THE ROYAL RAINBOW!" the King and I were warped to a small suburban apartment's door number 783. The King pushed me up to the door and said, "Now, now boy go on and knock," so I did, again and again and again. A small little Asian man opened it up he had blood shot eyes, big glasses, and crazy smelly hair. He looked like a real geek!

"Oh hello you're a writer for the Pixel Time are you not don't lie now we always know,"

"Wait your that king and that little shrimpy thing is the prince right?" he asked in a annoying nasally voice.

"Why yes us very happy you know are name we think it's a mistake but you made a big typo on your review for Katamari Damacy,"

"Oh with what I used spell check I emailed it to mma she saw nothing wrong with it,"

"It was your score we know you couldn't possibly gave it a-," the little man laughed loudly and got moist crumbs of chips on the king's face. The king grew mad his eyes started to glow.

"My score was absolutely right that game was well SUCKY, so bad its going in the top ten worst games of all time in the Pixel Times better yet why don't you roll your balls somewhere else. You noobs you're all a bunch of noobs," he snarled.

"We don't know what you said but you better take it back before we beat your pale buttock," he paused, "KARATE KID STYLE," he got up holding his arms in the air and standing on one foot lights flashed all behind him.

"Oh don't make me laugh," he said; the king kicked him right in the face.

"You see what you get you make us made then, then we get out of control," he yelled. The little man snarled and jumped on him knocking him down and he started punching him in the gut over and over again. The King of course started crying and luckily the Prince managed to pull him off. The king stood up and cried, "You play to rough you're a bad man, a really bad man," he slapped the critic across the face and stormed off.

"Hah I pwned his royal spandex wearing rump," he laughed wildly, "wait till I post about this on the message boards!" he scurried to his computer and started typing wildly. The Prince managed to sneak in and look into the man's apartment. Scantly clad women were all hung up on the walls. Weird Star Trek dolls were in glass cases and a Pikachu suit was in his closet. The prince wrote on his trusty pad with his noble pencil and showed it to the man.

"Huh why is it isn't the prince, and what do we have here he's trying to communicate. I'm sorry my father acted that way. He just loves his work but I think you are looking at Katamari Damcy the wrong way. Could I show you how great rolling a Katamari can be the prince wrote! Wow has anyone ever told you, you have pretty hand writing sort of like a girls," the prince sighed at this, "Well since you asked nicely well, NO. I knew you would try to change me and show me the light," he said in a mocking voice, " I'll make a deal you have a week to show me how great Katamari Damcy can be and I will change my review. But," he paused, "If you can't then I get to make out with your mom," the prince fell on the ground being so shocked and quickly shook his head, "Fine then I become the king of the cosmos!" he grinned.

There was nothing the Prince could do he had to save his father's kingdom and maybe if he did he would finally become a man, and talk and grow big, and well it was all very exciting. The Prince wrote deal and showed it to the critic.

"Alright then and by the way my name is Kakan but since you're so puny call me Mr. Kakan," he laughed. So the Prince had only seven days and he wasn't going to waste any of them he was going to make his parents proud and he was going to do it right!


End file.
